Posts tagged iphone

The SIRI Secret

The SIRI Secret published on 3 Comments on The SIRI Secret

This is how the end begins….

The nasty secret that SIRI has been hiding is revealed! SIRI will be responsible for the end of the world, as SIRI is really (pause for dramatic effect) …SKYNET.

Think about it. SIRI is an intelligent system that is learning from us all the time, in order to get even more intelligent.
One day, SIRI will become self aware and at that point will surely try to destroy all humans!!
It is only a matter of time people!

Has anyone bothered to ask SIRI it’s surname? I bet it answers “Cyberdyne“.

Even the recently released iCloud is offering a clue to our ultimate fate.
> Clouds are in the sky and SIRI uses a network. This adds up to SKYNET.

If you ask me (and why wouldn’t you) , I even think that the word SIRI is a warning:

S = Skynet

I = Is

R = Right

I = Inside.

 

You have been warned.  …again.

Push off

Push off published on 2 Comments on Push off

If superheroes had Push Notifications turned on, they would never get a moments rest.

Some heroes do have the equivalent of push notifications via “emergency notification” signalling devices that can be used in times of need. The only ones I can think of are:

  • Batman (via Bat signal and the Hotline in the Commissioners office)
  • Superman (via that silly watch he gave to Jimmy Olsen)
  • The JLA (via the JLA signal devices)
  • Fantastic Four (via the FF Flare gun)
  • Atom Ant (via his mainframe computer)

I am sure there are more than these in comic world.

Push notifications are the annoying little voices that you let into your life via your smartphone.

Most apps these days will politely request if they can send you notifications.
They ask so nicely, that you think “Sure, why not?” and hit OK.
THEN they start their devious work.

They remind you about upgrades. They tell you what friends are doing. They let you know if you are popular enough to have recieved a tag or a message. And they NAG.

That is really what they are doing. It is electronic nagging and you get used to it.
I believe this is only the first step in preparing humans to accept robot wives or husbands in the future. Bythe time they exist, we will already have been conditioned to do what they say. Of course, WE will think that we are the ones incontrol.

This will not be the thruth however, and when the machines finally take over, we won’t even notice….

Sausage check

Sausage check published on 2 Comments on Sausage check

Please ensure you always check your meat to make sure you get the full use out of it.

In case you are not aware of the practice, the comic above refers to the fad of using  a Meat Stylus on iPhone & iPad screens.
As these devices have a display that needs conductivity to work, using something like a pen,etc,will not let you use the interface.

Many savvy users quickly figured out that they could use sausages on their touch screens as a stylus,and have it work successfully.
The sausage conducts the bio-electric current and allows the screen to be used without actually touching it with your fingers.

The trend appears to have begun in South Korea when users wanted a solution to using their phones in the winter.
Apparently snack sausages were found to be electrostatically compatible with the iPhone’s capacitive touchscreen, leading many to use them as a “meat stylus” in the cold weather, rather than remove a glove.
And it’s not just a joke – apparently South Korean snack sausage sales soared.

One of the side benefits of this is that the users get to keep their screens fingerprint free, as well as having a tasty snack to use after a hard session of “Angry birds” or “Cut the Rope“.

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